So, generally speaking my husband and I have 1 day a week that we get to talk. Him being in Japan and me being in California we are on very different time schedules. By the time I get up in the morning he’s gone to bed, by the time he gets home from work in the evening I’ve gone to bed. His Saturday is my Friday, so I’m usually busy. My Sunday is his Monday so he’s usually at work. Most of the time this leaves only my Saturday/his Sunday that we are able to talk.
So today, being my Saturday/his Sunday, I’m looking forward to his call when he gets up, and getting to talk to him for real. So I wait around all afternoon for him to call. 3 passes, no call. 5 passes, no call. 7 passes, no call. 9 passes, still no call. 10pm my time, so 2pm his time, I call him. He’s up, the first thing he says is he doesn’t want to talk long because he needs to go down to base, fuck #1. Fine, whatever, I brush it off. We talk about 10-20 mins about the goings on (softball game last night, dying my sisters hair purple today, etc.) He gets on Warcraft while we are on the phone, fuck #2. Yeah okay, brush it off again. He starts ignoring me and talking to his buddy on the game, the buddy that he works with and see’s daily, the buddy that he can do this with any other day of the week, but apparently this is more important then me, fuck #3. I hang up.
About an hour later I call back, he’s still on the game, they’re doing some sort of mission, fuck #4, but I ignore this. I give the phone to his daughter, who promptly puts it on speaker, because she’s 5 and thinks that’s hilarious. They chit chat for a while, she begs him to video chat, he won’t. Then she’s trying to tell him something, he’s talking to his buddy again, she’s really trying to tell him this, keeps trying, he keeps talking to his buddy not paying any attention to her, fuck #5. My phone dies.
Apparently he called my cell while I was hanging the house phone back up out in the living room. Leaves me a message, something about us hanging up on him and punks. I try to call him back to explain this. No answer. Call again, no answer. Call a few more times, no answer. Finally call one last time, he picks up and starts yelling at me that he had just gotten in the shower so he could go to base, fuck #6.
Why can’t he devote just a couple hours a day to just talking to us? I mean, we usually would be in bed no later then 11 here, 3pm there. Is it really too much to ask that he just not play video games with people he see’s everyday while talking to his wife and daughter who he only gets to talk to about once a week? What did I do to deserve this? What did she do to deserve this? And most of all, why does it always end with me feeling like shit? Like I’m not enough? Like everyone else matters more then the two of us?
After a super shitty Thursday, not exactly great Friday, and a time when I’d spent the better part of three days in the house with his sick puking child, this was so not what I needed. What I needed what for my husband to be loving and supportive. I needed him to listen to me, talk to me, and tell me how much he loved me. I guess sometimes not only do we not get what we want, but we also don’t get what we need.